One Year On...
A year ago today I was overcome with a sudden desire to set up a blog. I'd had other blogs but they were pretty shit and totally lacking in any kind of direction. This time last year though, I had an eight month old Small and I was starting to think two things: first, that I was beginning to resemble and recognise parts of my old self and two...this 'becoming a momma' thing needed to be talked about. It's well documented (I know I've gone on and on about it) that I found that transition from being me to becoming a mother hard. Maybe I found it harder than some, maybe I found it harder than most but I do know that other women found it hard too. Some were willing to talk about it, some were more reticent. It's a scary thing as a woman and a new mother to stand up and say, 'Excuse me...am I the only one that thinks this is hard in an out-of-this-world-what-have-I-done-kind of way?'
We're so used to being told that it's the most natural thing in the world, that we are built to do this and that it's the best thing we'll ever do that when it doesn't feel like any of those things we sit there silently beating ourselves up and pretending to everyone that it's the most wonderful time of our lives. Of course, there's a million things going on - there's hormones, there's sleep-deprivation, there's the overwhelming responsibility that comes with keeping a small human alive and there's the visitors and the pandemonium and the pressure from all walks of parental theories and frankly, it's all a little too much for anyone.
Anyway, when I finally felt ready, eight months later, to share my experiences, I set up this blog. That was exactly a year ago and what a year it has been. I've been stunned and overjoyed by the response the blog has got. Sure, not everyone agrees with what I say but at the end of the day - these words are mine, they describe my experience, they are honest and raw and if, at the very least, they touch someone else and make just one woman feel less alone in the turmoil of motherhood then it was all worth it.
More than anything, I passionately wanted (and still do) this blog to be a safe place for all women, men, parents, whatever their take on raising Smalls, to be able to come and say anything and everything without fear of judgement. I wanted this blog to be a place of support. I wanted to share all my dirty, dark, gritty and wonderful experiences and shine a light on them and say, "Hey look how rubbish I am at this! Look how hard I found this! Look how cool this is! Look! Look! Look! You are not alone."
Now, it's not just a blog. Now it's becoming a network of wonderful, wonderful women who all make this a great place to be. I'm privileged to have you all on board, to have you listen, share and support. You are coming to events, you are spreading the word and we are thriving.
We couldn't have done it without you.
You are all awesome.