New.

This one is for the mums with a newborn. I don’t care whether it’s your first, second or 31st child: a newborn is hard and no two are the same. Experience with one baby doesn’t make you an expert on the next one so if you’re currently holding a newborn, then this is for you. I’ll make it short. I know your time is precious.

• It takes time to get to know your baby and what works or doesn’t work for them. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t figure it out instantly…or even in the first few weeks or months.
  

• It takes time to get to know yourself in this new version of you. Your needs have changed. Your wants have changed. Your perspective has changed. Your circumstances have changed and it’s happened instantly. Do be pushed to do anything too quickly by anyone.
  

• If all that’s changed, it makes sense that your boundaries need to change too. Change them if you need to and don’t apologise for it.
  

• You’re not supposed to be bossing this bit. It’s hard. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do and you’ll do it when you are psychopathically exhausted. Anyone with any expectations of you can fuck right off.
  

• That includes yourself. If this bit is not what you thought it would be then be kind to yourself and lower your expectations. And then lower them some more. All you need to do is look after yourself and your baby. Things you DO NOT need to worry about include:

  • cleaning the house

  • putting on make up

  • cooking meals for anyone

  • hosting guests

  • listening to any unsolicited advice

  • snapping back

  • wearing anything other than leggins/tracksuit bottoms

  • doing your hair

  • decorating a nursery

  • getting out of bed or off the sofa
    

• The only things you should be worried about doing are:

  • watching as many boxsets as you can

  • listening to podcasts

  • trying to get one walk in a day just for the fresh air

  • napping

  • letting other people do shit for you

  • accepting help

  • asking for help

  • talking about you REALLY feel with no shame to people you love and trust
    

• Accept this for what it is. Don’t dwell on mourning what you thought it might be and remember, this too shall pass.
  

• The picture above is me during night 1 with my second child. I legit got 23 seconds of sleep that night. She fed all night and I was exhausted. I looked like this for about 6 months but I learned so much from my first: I stayed in bed for the first 10 days then I went to the sofa for ten days leaving the house only to walk and I told everyone else to fuck off until I was ready (although I didn’t use those words obvs). It was glorious.

Love and luck…

Cat x