No.

Let’s get one thing straight: ‘no’ is not a dirty word. It’s not a damaging word. It’s not a negative word. It’s a fucking powerful tool that empowers every human being to keep themselves safe. It’s that simple.

Remember there was a time when ‘experts’ were telling us that we shouldn’t use the word ‘no’ to kids? Maybe those people still exist. Whatever, power to them but they’re wrong. Every single human being alive need to hear the word no, understand what it means, and learn manage their responses to it.

Kids need to learn that when they hear ‘no’ it’s not about them. In fact, all people need to know that when they hear ‘no’ coming at them from another person, IT’S NOT ABOUT THEM. It’s always, one hundred per cent about the person saying it which means it’s not up for negotiation. It’s not a challenge.

They also need to know that they too have the power to say ‘no’ and that they too have the right to expect their ‘no’ to be heard. No isn’t a one-way-street. ‘No’ is a sonic boom available to anyone (if you never played Street Fighter on Nintendo, that reference will have passed you by). If we avoid the word ‘no’ with our kids we’re not just doing them a disservice, we’re also potentially putting people they come into contact with in real danger of not being respected.

So, as parents, we absolutely shouldn’t be avoiding ‘no’. In fact, we should be using it more and teaching our kids that ‘no’ is there for the preservation of your human soul. Model that behaviour and start doing it now.

If you find yourself acquiescing to their every request to play, craft, bake, go to the park, pick them up, put them down…and you’re knackered and exhausted and emotionally spent then please, please practise saying no and I don’t mean saying no when you are exhausted. I mean, start saying ‘no’ when you could very easily play but you’d rather take 20 minutes to drink a cup of coffee and sit down. Show them that humans have free will, they have boundaries, they have the power to preserve themselves and their energy.

The word ‘no’ needs some sort of PR campaign because we’ve been told as women and as parents that it’s a dirty, damaging word. Guys…that’s what they want us to think. Does it all come down to the patriarchy? Probably. Is it about disarming women and mothers from the power of being able to say ‘no’ without guilt? You better believe it is.

Well, its time to reclaim ‘no’ and show our kids how it’s done.