Why I'm Buzzing About Vibrators
There are blogs that I hope my parents read and there are blogs that I hope they don’t. This one, inevitably, will fall into the latter category but here’s the question: why? Why are we so embarrassed to talk about vibrators? Why are we so ashamed at the thought of masturbation, whether it’s a solo activity or one we introduce into our sexual relationships? And why is it something that women feel more uncomfortable about than men?
I’m not going to waste time asking why women feel more ashamed to talk about masturbation than men. We can all understand why women lack confidence in themselves as sexual beings. There have been decades, centuries, perhaps even millennia dedicated to removing power from women when it comes to the sexuality. Think of all the words that demean a woman for having too many sexual partners: slag, slut, whore…the list goes on. How many can you think of that apply to men? Honestly, I can’t think of one and no, ‘man whore’ doesn’t count.
Bringing it back to masturbation though, we often hear and see men talking about how ‘it’s one for the walk bank’, or how they’re going to have to ‘bash one out’ just to get a bit of relief. It’s all done in good fun and jest and so it should be but let me suggest that it should be the same for us too.
Masturbation is not just natural it’s safe. It’s a safe way for women and men to explore their bodies, know their bodies, understand their bodies. It’s a safe way for them to learn what they like, what they don’t like, without the pressure of someone else being involved. If we remove the shame and embarrassment, it’s empowering, it’s liberating and fuck me, it’s a lot of fun.
There’s lots of chat and advice about introducing vibrators into a relationship and how it can enhance sex for you both and increase pleasure. A lot of articles will talk about vibrators in a way that ‘reassures’ women that most men enjoy vibrators too but there aren’t many articles that talk about vibrators for women, to use on their own, with no mention of man or intention of pleasuring him. Female masturbation is still a dirty word.
So, I reached out to Soda Says - a tech webshop aimed at women - who stock a number of vibrators and asked them to send me some. I’m going to be sending these vibrators out to women who want them and who want to talk about them. If you’re a woman who wants a vibrator and doesn’t mind reviewing it then hit me up on the contact page here or via Instagram and let’s decolonise the clitoris.