Being Intentional - Rediscovering Your Identity (And Your Pelvic Floor) In Motherhood

Yvadney Davis, co-founder of Mums That Rave

The thing about parenthood is that it’s a bit like restoring factory settings on your phone. When it first strikes, it strips you of everything you once knew about yourself and your life and for a while you don’t know whether you’re coming or going, what day of the week it is or whose number 1 in the charts (spoiler: you’re unlikely to know this information ever again until your kids are old enough to tell you themselves.)

It can feel like the end of the world. It can feel discombobulating, unnerving and frankly it can temporarily sap you of your self-confidence and the kicker is that the old you, the one you’ve known until now, the one you miss? Yeah, bad news. They’re gone but it’s not all doom and gloom. You might not know it yet, but you’re a Phoenix about to rise from the ashes of dirty nappies and dried-on weetabix and actually, there’ll come a time when you don’t miss the old you at all.

I went to a panel talk last month, sponsored by Lights by Tena (you can order a free sample here) and Mums That Rave and co-founder of Mums That Rave, Yvadney said something that really resonated with me. She said “after becoming a mum, I made the decision to BE INTENTIONAL”. She didn’t just fall in line with what she thought being a mum looked like, she didn’t bend under societal pressure to be what they believed a mum should look like, she went back and claimed those small but important parts of her pre-kid life and repurposed them with pride. She wore the sequin jacket to school pick up, she made time to rave, she stuck with her much love red glitter eyeshadow. For her, it was those small but important things that allowed her to hold on to the true her.

It’s good that things change, that we change, that our bodies change. It’s important that there’s progress, evolution and while it can be terrifying, it’s also an opportunity because we can all Be Intentional. We can choose. We can build ourselves back up - we can even build our pelvic floors back up - and we can create the best version of ourselves, one that’s resilient, strong, efficient and confident because theres nothing like hoofing a human through our love tunnel to make us realise the true potential strength and bad-assery that we possess. 

It’s not easy - I know as well as anyone the devastating effect having a baby can have on your self-confidence (and your pelvic floor!) Choking on a sausage in front of my mother in law, all the while excruciatingly conscious of the increasing puddle of pee growing around my stockinged feet was a real low, as was my swift exit from my kids’ trampolining party with a cardigan wrapped around my waist to cover the wet patch. It took me almost four years to get back into a bikini, too self-conscious of the new lumps, bumps and stretch marks. But, I do know that it’s worth bearing the idea of being intentional in mind until you feel you are able to. Products like Lights by Tena are designed specifically to support you on your journey back to yourself - bladder weakness isn’t something you have to live with but while you fix it, Lights by Tena can help give you the confidence you need. One day, you’ll feel your wings grow, you’ll wonder what it feels like to fly again and when you’re ready you’ll be raving in red glitter eyeshadow before you know it.

So if you’re still there, if you're still in the thick of it wondering whether you’ll ever come up for air, if you don’t recognise yourself or your wardrobe or your life...know this: you have all the power. You may not feel like it, but you can make all the choices and the first thing to do is to BE INTENTIONAL. 

This blog has been sponsored by Lights by Tena.