Why It's Time To Take A Step Back
I don't know if I've mentioned it (I've mentioned it) but I've been sick. Actually, quite sick. On Thursday I was diagnosed with pneumonia which is actually the second time in a year and the third time in my whole life. I don't know about you, but that just feels a little too often for my liking. It's also too often for my husband's liking. We both work really hard, we both are self-employed so we're entitled to absolutely no sick pay and we have two kids. When one of us is down, it's a big deal. Whoever is sick is suddenly unable to earn and whoever isn't sick and severely hamstrung because all of a sudden they have to pick up the slack.
My husband sat me down and had a harsh word with me. I thought it was a bit unfair considering I was in bed, unable to get out and too sore and tired to talk or fight back but he took his opportunity and I'm glad he did. He told me that he needed me to be fit. He told me that having me in bed is, quite simply, unhelpful. He said he sees me pushing myself, burning the candle at both ends, not looking after myself properly and then, when inevitably I crash and burn in a fiery fever, it's frustrating. It breeds resentment and, while he knows I'm properly ill, it's hard to stomach when he thinks I could avoid it if I just looked after myself properly.
I was too ill to fight back which, on reflection, is probably a good thing. Fighting fit I would have got all defensive and all, "don't you tell me how to live my life" which would've led to a fight and got ugly pretty damn quickly. As it was, incapacitated I had to take it on the chin and it's a good thing because as I took it in and digested it, I heard it for what it was: concern delivered in no uncertain terms, by someone who loves me.
While I recovered I continued to think about what he'd said and he wasn't wrong. I had been going out a lot. True, through my work, I get invited to a lot of stuff and I try to go for a number of reasons. Firstly, I'm always up for supporting new ventures, especially if they are launched by friends and people I really want to support. Secondly, it doesn't hurt the blog and the blog's growth to be seen out and about. The more people that see me, the more that follow me and while I don't count my self-worth by the amount of followers I've got, I'd be naive if I thought it wasn't important to growing a business. Finally, I suffer from chronic FOMO. I'm not good at saying no.
On top of that running Hustle & Fox and Not So Smug Now takes up all my time and what's left is all about my kids, family, relationship. The thought of fitting any exercise or much sleep in there is laughable. Until now.
So, having taken a long hard look at myself, my weaknesses (FOMO) and my workaholic tendencies here's what I've decided. As I recover, there's no booze, there's good food (hello bone broth), there's sleep (lots of it) and here's the kicker: there's saying 'no' to the extraneous stuff. From now on, I need a better balance. Just because I have childcare doesn't mean I should always use it. Just because I love the people involved doesn't mean I should sacrifice the people I love at home. So I'm going to be at home more, working just as hard but sleeping, resting and eating well wherever and whenever possible.
It's not going to be easy but stay with me...hopefully you'll see me thrive. Maybe this is just what you need to read too? Maybe we need to start putting our own health front and centre? Maybe we all need to slow down a little. I guarantee we'll get more done.