Hold the fucking phone....you mean, I have to be cool now as well? I don't know about you but I'm starting to think I missed a memo. I may not be the least cool momma on the block but as I looked around at the Netflix #unbreakablemum event at The Soho Hotel this afternoon, I started to wonder how I'd even got through the door.
The pressure is on. I'm lucky enough to meet some pretty fabulous mommas every single day and I'm starting to wonder when the frickin' rules changed. Remember the days when mommas were never expected to work then we all got antsy about it and said, 'But hey, I kind of want to work and that doesn't make me a bad person, so let's fix up some awesome child care options and oh, hey you, over there! Husband! Yes you...why don't you look after the little one?' Yeah well that was pretty awesome and now we're not just mommas at home, baking and cooking and cleaning we are ALSO working. So that's nice.
Well, now there's another revolution happening. Now mommas are saying, 'Erm, 'scuse me?? Hello! Do you mind if I don't wear those shitty loose fitting momma clothes anymore? If I'm going to get poo, pasta sauce and baby sick down clothes anyway, I may as well look shit hot while I'm doing it, no?"
And they are right. Mommas are the coolest people out there right now. The momma-graphic is one of the most powerful trendsetting group there is. We are a powerful bunch and we are not just following the trends, we are setting them. I've got two words for you: mom jeans.
This is amazing news. But (and I'm not doing any mommas down here) I just kind of got to grips with the working momma thing and I'll be honest, it's tough enough working, keeping a human alive, cleaning the house, enjoying a relationship and managing a hipster wardrobe.
Listen, my wardrobe decisions are based entirely on what is clean. That's it. There's nothing more to it than that. If I had the time, I may consider whether the things I put on match or are ironed, but generally I'm just happy if I can find a pair of knickers, a bra, a pair of jeans and a top that are all clean at the same time.
I'm inspired and awed by the mommas I meet with their wicked hair cuts, their cool clothes, their sun-drenched Instagram accounts and their homes that look like a cross between some vintage flea market and Vogue...I'm just stumped. I'm totally confused and baffled about how they do it? Forget the money, cool is free, we all know that; but where do they find the time? Where do they carve out the brain space to consider an outfit, let alone look in the mirror?
HOW DO THEY DO THEIR HAIR EVERY MORNING???
I can't be the only one floundering in a shallow pile of self-esteem wondering whether it's just me?