HOW TO // HOLIDAY WITH BABIES

1. It would be easier to put knickers on a lizard than sunscreen on a ten month old. Take spray. 2. The Terrorist WILL GET SICK while you are on holiday. This is a fact. Take Calpol.

3. Your baby will only nap when it is cloudy.

4. When it is sunny you will be in the shade singing 'The Wheels On The Bus...'

5. When the seatbelt light is on, your baby would rather scratch your eyeballs out and suck the juice out than sit still. As soon as the seatbelt light goes off, she will sleep. You will also be desperate for the loo.

6. Don't bother downloading any books onto your Kindle. You won't read any.

7. Remember when holidays were about kicking back, relaxing, sleeping late, sleeping all day, eating great food and drinking nice wine? Yeah, cherish that memory.

8. You'll get as much sleep on holiday as you do at home. None.

9. You know how you feel when you're suffering from jetlag after flying back from New Zealand? Even an hour's time difference will do that to your little one.

10. You'll still have a great time - you just won't sport the same tan when you get back.